my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
im having trouble putting my feelings into words nowadays. sometimes i feel as if my emotions come and go too quickly that i can't even trace them, let alone try and pen them down. i love too easily and forget too quickly. seriously i'm a scatterbrain in every sense of the word, be it pertaining to school work or deeper things like emotions or the like. don't really understand what i'm typing but somehow i feel this nagging urge to put it all down before it starts feeling as if i have the weight of the world on my shoulders. things that can't be said or written are usually the things that should be made known, and the things that we like to talk about everyday are usually considered to be of peripheral importance. yet we make it out to be the other way round. the paradox of life perhaps, but then life is after all a (tadah!) paradox. i don't doubt that life is a gift but it's beginning to feel like it's too mapped/planned out, that we forget what life was given to us for. yes i also know that we can praise and give glory to God in whatever we do, but then isn't it always the case that we get so distracted by the little nitty-gritties (however you spell the plural form) and forget what the whole point was in the first place. my thoughts are incoherent and random and you're witnessing it in its purest form now ha ha. i need to stop thinking so much, really.
written with ♥ at
11:32 PM;
